Category Archives: Autism Stories

Jason Gets Physical!

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As I mentioned in the last few paragraphs of a much earlier posting when I reviewed my initial reactions to Jason’s Asperger’s diagnosis, one of the harder things to come to terms with for me was that I probably wouldn’t be able to enjoy my son’s participation in team sports. I know there are those with AS who do get into such activities, but it’s not usual. And having grown up as a “tomboy” myself, I had looked forward to playing “catch” or “one-on-one” with Jason as he got older.

Still, I held out hope that perhaps I could interest him in a more solitary game like tennis. No dice. Sports–any and all sports–turned out not to be his thing. We considered it a real accomplishment just to get him swimming. And we kept our fingers crossed when he “had” to take weightlifting and racket sports in high school to meet his P.E. requirements. He made it through both classes, but as soon as he graduated, it was back to his sedentary lifestyle.

That is why I considered his Pathway assignment two weeks ago on setting goals–and his selection of the physical goal of exercising to build muscle and gain some weight–such a gift.

I’ll be honest. I purchased the TRX Suspension Training DVD and equipment this past summer for myself and my husband. I knew we needed to get into better shape (me particularly), and I was good to begin with–as long as my daughter was around to work out with me and motivate me. But once she left on her 18-month church mission, I was on my own. And the suspension straps hung limply for 3-4 months.

Then Jason chose his goal and suddenly they were in business again! He may not care for sports, but I think he’s liking the feeling of getting stronger.

This exercise system was developed by a former Navy SEAL and it builds strength, flexibility, and endurance while burning calories and strengthening your core. As you follow the accompanying video, you can choose the easier routine or the harder, or do a mixture of both.

The Sprinter Start with the Knee Up

The Hamstring Curl with Hips Up

The Mid Row (Single Arm)

The Chest Press (Leg Extended to the Side)

The Deltoid Fly (Offset Stance)

The Kneeling Roll Out

The Plank on Hands (held for 30 seconds)

The Side Plank on Forearm (also held for 30 seconds)

(Note: I do not even attempt this one…yet.)

After all the exercises (only some of which are shown here), the video concludes with some cool-down flexibility routines.

The Lower Back Stretch

The Long Torso Twist

The Chest and Torso Stretch

And we’re done for the day.

Jason does this now three times a week. I’d started with him then got sidetracked when I had to travel to Utah for a book signing. That was actually a good thing because Jason’s dad had to cover for me and now he’s interested in doing it for himself. So now that Thanksgiving’s over, I think we’re both going to get going on this next week.

Not only has Jason begun to put on some weight (1.5 lbs. in two weeks), but he’s getting out of that chair in front of his computer…AND he’s got both Mom and Dad committed to following suit.

After all, we can’t let him show us up!

What do those you know who are autistic or have AS do for exercise? And what do they absolutely refuse to do? I’d love to hear from you.

Originally posted 2012-11-23 17:26:13.

Jason Gets Scheduled

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Each week, I grow more and more suspicious that this Pathway Program was designed with someone like my son in mind.

First, they had a lesson that basically talked him into attending college for real. Then they had a lesson that made him focus on his future and what he might want to be. Next came a lesson about general and particular goals in certain areas of life–intellectual, physical, spiritual, etc.–in the immediate future (he chose the physical…but I’ll post more about that next time).

And this week, he had to make a daily schedule.

What an eye-opener (to him, anyway). His father and I were already well aware of how he spent most days.

First, he had to track how he spent his time over 24 hours. Just the idea of it made him uncomfortable, and it’s obvious why when you examine the results:

(Just click on the image for a closer look)

In case you’re having a hard time reading the fine print, the result showed that he essentially spent a third to half his day on the computer. He calls it “researching” but he’s basically surfing the web and reading about all his favorite topics on Wikipedia or checking Facebook, Mugglenet, and the like.

Then they had the gall to ask him what he learned about himself from this exercise. As he put it to me (but not on the question sheet…there he was a bit more diplomatic), “I learned I’m a lazy slob!”

He’s exaggerating, of course, but the lesson did get through that it was time to reorganize his priorities. And that’s just what he was required to do next. Make a list of his priorities and things he needed and wanted to do. Then he had to make up a new kind of schedule.

Here’s what he came up with (after a bit of nudging from me):

(Again, click for a closer peek)

What an improvement in his use of time! I think it helped that the week before we’d already gotten him (and me) going on an exercise routine, but the addition of the commitment to spend actual daily hours in the local library, not to mention time reading rather than glued to a computer monitor, really made a difference.

As I reminded him, he can’t hope to be able to hold down a full-time job schedule until he’s able to maintain a personal schedule of his own. So on Monday we begin the new schedule. I’m so proud of the strides he’s making!

And my suspicions that the designer of the Pathway Program must have an ASD child of his own only continue to grow.

Originally posted 2012-11-09 13:09:07.

A Possible Career for Jason

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A couple of weeks ago, I wasn’t surprised to see that Jason’s homework assignments all revolved around exploring his own preferences in terms of interests and possible careers. He took three different tests online, one of which I immediately recognized as a version of the Myers-Brigg Personality Indicator test.

You know the one. It asks you to choose your preference in various situations and it’s designed to discover whether you’re introverted or extroverted, intuitive or sensing, thinking or feeling, and perceptive or judging . . . or something like that. I recalled that when I took it, I ended up being an INFJ (introverted, intuitive, feeling, and judging). So I was curious to see where my son would end up on this other man-made “spectrum.”

I decided to watch and say nothing as he answered the various questions, though more than a few times as he answered, I had to bite my tongue because that wasn’t how I saw him at all. In fact, I got to wondering how accurate this test could be for someone who has a hard time stepping outside of himself enough to judge how different circumstances truly affect him. His first result: ISTJ.

He went on to take the other two shorter tests and then let the computer spit out the jobs that seemed a good fit. There was only one–some kind of housing inspector. Jason and I looked at that and then at each other and said, “What?”

I guess I shouldn’t have been surprised. After all, when I took one of these kinds of tests in college, I was told I was most suited to be either a Priest or a Rabbi.

Anyway, I encouraged him to take the personality test again and this time I prompted him a bit based on what I knew of my son. This second time around, he turned out to be INTJ and two main careers were suggested:

Desktop Publishing or Library Science. Both were a much better fit. Of the two, he said he’d prefer working in a Library.

I was happy to discover later, in a blog posting about careers suited to those with Asperger’s, that Library Science can be a good fit for Aspies.

In any case, based on those results, he’s begun to lay the groundwork for his college courses, with an eye toward earning either a Bachelor of Science degree in Interdisciplinary Studies (which can all be done online) or a Bachelor of Science degree in University Studies (which requires some courses toward the end in residence). In either case, he’s thinking he’ll focus on the areas of English, Communications, and Literature.

Finally, a glimmer of a plan for his future. YES!

And how ironic it is that most of his senior pictures for high school were taken in our local library. Here’s one of my favorites:

Now my only concern is: With the rise of e-books, is the future of libraries in jeopardy? How will libraries change in the next five years, and will it still be a good fit for my son by the time he graduates?

Originally posted 2012-10-26 06:00:51.

Starting Down the Pathway to College

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Last night marked Jason’s fourth week in the Pathway Program and I’m encouraged by what I’ve seen thus far. After a somewhat shaky start (more about that in a minute), he’s buckled down and begun to get used to a whole new routine.

First, some background on the program. Offered by BYU-Idaho, the program is designed for three different groups of aspiring college students–those who are academically challenged and need a little boost to get them ready for college work; those who need to put their lives in order to be ready to abide by BYU’s strict moral code; and those, like Jason, who may have difficulties or learning disorders that prevent them from being at ease leaving home for college.

The program is simple. Jason takes two courses a semester (an online course that provides reading materials, study guides, writing prompts and weekly quizzes . . . and a second course on Thursday nights in a classroom at the local LDS Institute). Following the second course, he gathers with the Pathway Director and the other classmates to discuss what they’ve learned online that week. All told, Thursday nights are pretty long–about 3 hours in class. But the rest of the week, the load is really quite light. This semester, Jason is taking a religion class and a course entitled “Pathway Life Skills.” Perfect for someone like my son.

I say that because it’s teaching him the true value of a college education and how it will affect his life and prepare him to serve himself, his family, and his community. In other words, it’s drawing him out to engage with the world he lives in. Exactly what he needs!

As I alluded to above, Jason’s first Thursday night class didn’t go so well back in September. But that was because there wasn’t clear communication about the schedule for the evening. After one and a half hours of the religion class, he was maxed out and rushed out of there before they even announced that a Pathway class would directly follow. Jason doesn’t drive yet, so my husband was waiting in the parking lot. When he got in the car and insisted the class was over, Michael thought it a bit strange but began to bring him home. Not ten minutes later, I got a call from the Pathway teacher’s wife (fortunately, a couple runs the program) asking where Jason had gone. After a quick call to my husband, they turned around and Jason, rather humiliated, slumped back into the classroom and hid in a corner for the rest of the evening. Needless to say, he didn’t get much out of that first class.

I thought we might have a problem getting him to agree to return the next week, but after a bit of coaxing and helping him with that first week of assignments, he went. Now, after three weeks, the routine is set. He checks his email regularly. He logs in for his assignments, does his reading, goes through the study guides, completes his Learning and Attendance Reports, takes his quiz, and prepares for the next Thursday evening class.

Dare I say he’s beginning to resemble a college student? It’s exciting to watch.

Once he completes three semesters of the Pathway Program satisfactorily, he’ll be admitted to BYU-Idaho as a full-fledged online student and be able to pursue one of nine different Bachelor’s degrees or five different Associate’s degrees (and those are only the degrees they’re currently offering . . . by the time he’s accepted, I imagine they’ll have more).

I can almost see my son’s future opening up! Now if we can only get him to take Driver’s Ed. Patience, I remind myself. At least he’s begun to be open to the idea of driving.

By the way, all my postings about Jason are now being shared over at Madison House Autism Foundation. It’s a terrific organization designed for autistic individuals (and their families) who are trying to find their way into and through adulthood. They’ve agreed to follow Jason’s Journey with me.

Originally posted 2012-10-12 03:00:23.

“Wednesday Writer” – Jason Eric Mills

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I’m kicking off my weekly “Wednesday Writer” series by interviewing not a published author, but a writer (perhaps) in embryo–my eighteen-year-old son.

Given that he was the inspiration behind A NIGHT ON MOON HILL, this won’t be like all my other author interviews (though I will ask him about his own writing at the end). Instead, I thought it would be interesting to get his take on the story he inspired. You see, he was about the age of Eric, the ten-year-old boy in my novel, when I had my first ideas for this tale. At the time, we were finally getting a handle on his Asperger’s in terms of helping him make friends at school. This interview was also my first opportunity to see what he thought about me being a writer.

Me:  Do you remember how old you were when you first became aware that I was writing on a regular basis? And what did you think of that?

Jason:  I’m sorry to say that I don’t exactly remember how old I was when I first became aware that you were writing on a regular basis. I do, however, vaguely remember you being on the computer all the time back in Riverside. (We used to live in Southern California.) But I think I truly became aware when we moved to Richland and you actually let us know that you were writing a novel. As for what I thought, I think I was like, “That sounds pretty cool. Maybe she got inspired by J. K. Rowling.”

(Not really. Don’t misunderstand. I love the Harry Potter series, but Barbara Kingsolver is more my style.) 

Me:  What was your first reaction when you learned I was writing a novel in which there would be a young boy with Asperger’s? Did it make you nervous at all? If so, why? If not, why not?

Jason:  To tell the truth, I was excited that you were writing a novel based on me. I thought it was only natural for you to write about that particular subject matter since you’ve done so much research on Asperger’s. The more I thought about it, I realized that it would be really important for you to write A NIGHT ON MOON HILL because it explains many things about AS, and I think tons of mothers with children who have AS will learn a lot from it. So, to answer your question, no, I wasn’t nervous in the least. (In fact, I was rather flattered!)

Me:  I offered to let you read the finished manuscript more than once but you always refused. Why did you want to wait for the actual physical copy of the book to arrive before reading it? What made you give in and read the Kindle version?

Jason:  I guess I wanted to wait for a physical book because I’m a freak like that. I just think it’s so much more satisfying to actually open a book, turn the pages, and be transported to another world. When you’re reading from an electronic device, I think it’s a little less satisfying because you can’t turn any pages, you don’t physically open anything, etc.

As for the second question, after Dad read it and practically raved about it, I thought to myself, “Well, if Dad really liked it, maybe I should just read it on Mom’s Kindle.” And boy, am I glad I did; otherwise, I wouldn’t have noticed that little mistake in Chapter 18. In fact, I’m surprised Dad didn’t catch it! (A mistake, by the way, which the publisher has thankfully rectified . . . so, unless you read a very early Kindle version, you will never see it!)

Jason finally getting his hands on a physical copy of the book

Me:  What did you think of Daphne, the main character, at first?

Jason:  I definitely noticed some similarities between me and her (e.g., love of swimming, neat freak, slight outdoors hater, etc.), and I also loved how brave she could become if someone she cared about was in danger. She’s practically the textbook definition of an “unlikely heroine.”

Me:  What was it like to read about Eric and the way he interacted with Daphne and others? Did it feel at all familiar or were there enough differences to set him apart from you?

Jason:  I fell in love with Eric the instant he was introduced. The conversations between him and Daphne were brilliant, and I could tell she was impressed with this boy who knew so much about angels and other things. I think there are some differences between us, like how he loves being outside while I don’t like being outside for too long. Some of his quirks felt very familiar (like how he prefers his food done “the right way” and his high soprano voice), and I thought you did a great job on his character. (Aw, thanks. Jason, by the way, had a lovely high soprano voice when he was Eric’s age…now he sings bass beautifully but has a wide range.)

Jason and I when he was about ten or eleven

Me:  Without giving anything away, what did you think of the book? What did you like most and what did you like least?

Jason:  I thought A NIGHT ON MOON HILL was very well-written and the characters were enjoyable, particularly Daphne’s agent, Judy (I thought she was the most hilarious character in the novel). I liked the whole conflict with Morgan and you did a really good job making him . . . (Okay, I don’t think I should include the rest of that sentence . . . spoiler.) I, of course, loved the relationship between Eric and Daphne, but I wish there were more descriptions of Eric’s activities with . . . (Sorry. I can’t print the rest of that sentence either. If you read the book, you’ll probably be able to guess what Jason was about to say.) But, on the whole, A NIGHT ON MOON HILL is, in my very honest opinion, your best novel yet.

(Now that I can print!)

Me:  Finally, I’m aware you’ve written a story or two . . . mainly of the fan fiction variety. Did reading my novel increase your desire to write fiction? If so, what would you like to write a story about next?

Jason:  It’s true I’ve written stories–a Lion King/Alice in Wonderland crossover fanfic, 2 “Gargoyles” fanfics, and a Wile E. Coyote fanfic–but writing an entirely original novel is pretty daunting. I don’t know that I ever could because all the good ideas seem to be taken. I am tempted to take one of my Language Arts assignments back in my freshman year in high school (about “Wicked”) and expand it. So if I do any writing in the near future, that’s probably what I’d focus on.

I’ll be certain to let you know if Jason follows through on that. In the meantime, if you’re interested, beginning next week I’m posting every other Friday about my son’s progress post-high school as he journeys toward independence.

And next week I’ll be featuring an interview with author GG Vandagriff with many of the usual and some not so usual questions.

Originally posted 2012-09-26 22:12:53.