Category Archives: Autism Stories

Jason is “Slightly Trendy”

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Present word count of WIP:  59,347

Okay, my Aspie son may not have a job…yet. And he doesn’t drive…yet. But, according to this terrific article from i09, one of my favorite futuristic websites, Jason is “slightly trendy.” It’s a fascinating read and so in line with my upcoming new novel (the title of which is yet again in limbo…the publishers decided against The Boy in the Pool, so stay tuned).

Meanwhile, Jason is reading on his own and attending Institute class and Mission Prep once a week (and we’re really grateful to the young men that give him rides home when they can). This weekend we’ll probably be shopping for a laptop for him to get used to using for his classes that start in September. He wants a Google Chrome book.

Anyone familiar with those? If so, please comment below, including both pros and cons.

Originally posted 2012-07-27 06:00:41.

Despite Autism, Jason Grows in Independence

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Present word count of WIP:  59,985

I think his sister has had something to do with it, and that’s no surprise because siblings play a crucial role when it comes to autism.

Allison left to begin serving her mission this past Wednesday. She’ll be gone for 18 months in the environs of San Bernardino, California, and, even though she was only home for a few weeks to prepare, she’s already had an impact on her brother.

First, he decided to finally do actual baptisms in the temple a couple of weeks ago. If you recall my recounting of his own baptismal experience at age 8, you’ll realize what a huge step this was for him. But he knew this would be his last such outing with the youth in the ward and his distaste for the feeling of wet clothes was overcome by his desire to make his sister proud of him.

Then, this past Tuesday evening when we met as a family with our stake president for Allison’s setting apart as a missionary, Jason got ordained to the higher Melchizedek Priesthood as an elder first. That way, he was able to lay his hands along with those of my husband and the stake president atop Allison’s head as President Meyer set her apart and pronounced a beautiful blessing upon her.

These may seem like small, unimportant steps to those outside the LDS Church, but they are a huge step forward in his progression as a son of God. He’s come a long way since I took this picture of the two of them outside the Twin Falls Temple:

As Allison serves faithfully, I only expect him to grow all the more so that he, too, is prepared to serve a mission come next January.

In mentioning Allison, I thought I’d share the poem I wrote for her the night before she left, for it will apply just as equally to him some day (I need only change “Daughter” to “Son”):

“Called of God”

Come . . .

Come out of the wilderness

Of confusion, doubts, and fears,

And toil in my vineyard for months, even years,

My Daughter,

For I have called you to the work

And in righteousness

You come.

Sow . . .

Sow seeds of faith, hope, and charity

For these, my other children who are lost,

With patient prayer, and led by My Spirit, ignore the cost,

My Daughter,

For their hearts will soften as you testify

Of all you know in verity

And you will sow.

Gather . . .

Gather my sons and daughters to the fold

That they might be enfolded in my arms once more,

And use your time well, seeking and preaching from door to door,

My Daughter,

For now is the time to thrust in with all your might

That you may bring many to behold

As you gather.

Reap . . .

Reap unknown blessings both now

And through eternity for countless souls,

As you proceed through patient daily toil to reach your goals,

My Daughter,

For you are blessing more than self

And multitudes will bow

As they, with you, reap

Eternity.

Originally posted 2012-07-13 14:06:31.

Pathway Accepts Jason

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Present word count of WIP:  59,985

Jason got accepted! In this next phase of his ongoing autism story, he’s been admitted to the BYU-Idaho Pathway Program, which is perfect for someone like him with Asperger’s.

According to the letter, as a new Pathway student, he’ll begin his studies in the Academic Start Curriculum. Once he completes three semesters satisfactorily, he’ll be a regular online BYU-Idaho student and able to pursue any of a number of college degrees.

Here’s a short video about the program:

While the program is new and really still only getting started, it’s going to have a tremendous reach all over the world eventually. Here’s a map showing how far it had expanded last year:

I guarantee it has grown since then and it’s exciting to think Jason will be a part of it come September. This will give him the opportunity to continue to live at home and even hold down a job or serve a local service mission while completing his course work.

Now if I can only talk him into learning how to drive. That’s the next big goal.

Originally posted 2012-06-29 09:49:07.

Jason Conquers Grilled Cheese!

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After only a few weeks of practice, my son has finally learned how to make his own grilled cheese sandwiches. This is a BIG accomplishment in my book. It means Michael and I can perhaps go away for a weekend without worrying that Jason will have to subsist on Costco rolls and Ritz Bits with cheese.

(How convenient that our anniversary AND my birthday are right around the corner. :D)

Anyway, in case you don’t already know, Jason won’t eat just ANY grilled cheese sandwiches. Due mainly to his Asperger’s, he likes them done a particular way and so I decided to begin teaching him the easy part first–everything but the buttering.

On our recent trip to Utah, I challenged him to take over the placing of the buttered slices on the grill, the placing of the cheese slices, the flipping (more about that in a minute), and the cutting off of the crusts.

He got better the more he did it, though he wasn’t always happy about having to do it. Still, as we all know, practice makes perfect. He’s proven himself to be an accomplished flipper, in particular, as will be demonstrated in a video below.

Once we returned home, I finally made him take up the dreaded knife and begin to learn how to spread butter on a slice of bread without demolishing it. It took some coaching and I even had him place his hand over mine a few times to get the feeling of the knife’s angle, etc. But it worked!

And here are the pictures (and video) to prove it:

IMG_1098(First, the set up: Orowheat Country Buttermilk Bread, Country Crock Spread with Calcium, Kraft American Cheese Slice Singles, one of our blue Tupperware plates, and an unplugged griddle…the knife and spatula aren’t shown here)

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(Jason lays four slices out on the plate to be buttered)

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(He opens up the butter…hey, sometimes it’s not easy!)

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(Now he’s dipping in with the knife)

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(And he begins to butter the first slice)

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(Here’s a closer look…it’s a very meticulous process for him, but that’s fine.)

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(With all four slices buttered, it’s now time to set the top two, upside down, on the griddle.)

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(And then comes a slice of cheese for each)

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(As you may imagine, he’s very careful about placing the cheese slice just so. In fact, he’s a little perturbed that cheese slices aren’t made to fit the bread better.)

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(See how perfectly he’s centered them?)

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(Now it’s time to set the other slices on top…)

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(And finally plug in the griddle, turn it to 325, and start the timer)

NOTE:  After years of experimenting, we discovered that Jason’s preferred grilled cheese sandwiches turn out perfectly when heated at the above temperature for only 2 minutes and 5 seconds for the first batch, and 1 minute and 35 seconds for the second batch. Yes, he eats four grilled cheese sandwiches at a sitting…four for breakfast, and another four for dinner. For lunch, he snacks on a banana and some Ritz Bits or something.

IMG_1118(Now he waits as the timer counts down)

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(A closer look at the sandwiches as they are grilled)

Then comes the flipping:

(Quick and sure)

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(He begins cutting off the crusts after first turning off and unplugging the griddle)

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(Then he moves the crustless sandwiches over to the plate)

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(Like so)

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(And now the cutting into bite-sized squares)

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(First the top sandwich…)

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(And then the bottom before moving to the horizontal cuts)

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(Making 16 small bite-size squares in all)

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(E voilá! Grilled Cheese á la mode de Jason!)*

*I apologize if I mixed my French and Italian a bit there. Can’t recall if it should be “de” or “du”

Originally posted 2013-08-30 06:00:46.

Jason Kills Off Cinderella’s Stepmother, Lady Tremaine

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I haven’t posted a Jason update in a long while. To catch you all up, he’s finished all his Pathway courses . . . except the dreaded Math. He’ll be taking that one come January. In the meantime, he’s enjoying some freedom, and the only assignment he has these days is to learn how to make his own grilled cheese sandwiches. He’s halfway there and I’ll be posting about that next Friday, complete with pictures.

(Part of the reason we’re not pushing the driving, the math, or the mission right now is that we’re getting ready to list our house and looking into moving to Southern Utah. We want to downsize, be closer to both our families, and give Jason more opportunities to meet other LDS singles. But more about all of that in future posts.)

As I wrote on Monday, to help pass the time while driving down to Salt Lake City (and then on to St. George), I reviewed Agatha Christie’s writing methodology with Jason and proposed we give it a try. He agreed and so, first, we had to come up with a plausible victim who would have enemies.

JASON:  How about Lady Tremaine?

ME:  Who?

JASON:  You know, the stepmother from Disney’s “Cinderella?”

Lady Tremaine

ME:  Oh, yeah. Okay, she’ll do. Now we need to come up with the murder method.

He thought about that for a minute and shrugged. So I prodded his recollection of her fondness for shopping.

ME:  We could kill her off during a shopping trip in town.

JASON:  Huh? How?

ME:  Let’s see . . . since Agatha Christie was into poison, let’s come up with a really sneaky way to poison her while shopping.

JASON:  (No response)

ME:  Okay, how about this? . . . The killer applies an odorless poison to a dress Lady Tremaine has admired before, counting on the fact that she’ll likely try it on. Once she does, the toxic concoction seeps into her skin and 2-3 days later, she’s dead.

JASON:  Cool!

Now that we had the victim and the method all set, we had to determine the killer.

JASON:  It can’t be Cinderella and it can’t be the Prince. That would just be wrong.

Cinderella and the prince

ME:  Okay, who else wouldn’t like Lady Tremaine? Who else would have a motive and yet probably be overlooked by the reader?

JASON:  Maybe Anastasia would work.

ME:  Who?

JASON:  You know, the younger daughter. The one who was sort of kind to Cinderella . . . at least in the sequels.

Anastasia

ME:  That’s good. People probably wouldn’t suspect her because of that. But what would her motive be? Doesn’t she like her mother?

JASON:  Well, in the sequels, we find out that she doesn’t really like her mother’s iron grip on her life and that she just wants to be free to marry for love, not money. So that could be her motive.

ME:  Perfect! Now we need to figure out the motives for all the rest of the characters (not including the animals).

JASON:  Okay. Drizella, the eldest daughter, could have done it because she wants to inherit the family fortune sooner rather than later after her mother dies naturally.

Drizella

ME:  (Nodding) Good. Go on.

JASON:  Who else is there?

ME:  How about the dress shopkeeper? That’s where the murder takes place. Wouldn’t she naturally be a suspect?

JASON:  I guess, but what would her motive be?

ME:  I know. She could have done it because Lady Tremaine hasn’t been paying her bills on time and the woman is about to lose her shop.

JASON:  Hmm . . . that will do.

Finally, we needed to come up with the right detective to ferret out all the clues, with the help of Cinderella and the Prince, of course. Thinking back on the movie, that left only one possibility. It was apparent to me, but I had to bring Jason around to the realization.

ME:  Okay, Jason, who was the one in the film who went all over the countryside asking questions?

JASON:  Huh?

ME:  You know, he had a glass slipper and . . .

JASON:  Oh, you mean the Grand Duke?

grand duke 2

ME:  Exactly. Even though he’s kind of a bumbling fool, he’s the perfect type to put people off their guard while secretly he’s observing their behavior and asking all kinds of innocent questions.

JASON:  You mean his clumsiness is just an act?

ME:  Precisely. Now all we have to do is sit down and plot it out.

Et voilá. An Agatha Christie-styled murder mystery. Anyone want to write it? (We won’t for fear of being sued by Disney. Although perhaps Jason might give it a go as a piece of fan fiction. I’ll let you know if he does, but I can’t promise to post it here. He keeps his fan fiction private.)

In any case, it was a fun exercise and took a good bit longer in the car than it took you to read about it here. By the way, Jason helped create this post, so give him half the credit, okay?

Originally posted 2013-08-23 06:00:17.

Sometimes I Just Want to Go Waaay Back in Time

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By the time Jason gets through college, I think I’m going to feel like I’ve earned a brand new Bachelor of Arts degree . . . in Empowerment. Or at least I’d better feel that way.

This Introduction to Writing class that he’s taking this semester in Pathway is unbelievable! I mean, hey, I’m a writer and even I think it’s challenging. When I read his first assignment, this is how I looked (and felt):

IMG_1363(Yes, I wanted to run . . . either that or attack the teacher)

One thing the class is NOT is an introduction. Jason had to dive right in on his first essay the first week and learn to debate in order to prepare to write an argumentative essay.

Now arguing doesn’t come naturally to my sweet, nonconfrontational son (except in choir when members were not paying attention or getting their notes right…he’s even tough with our ward choir). He tends to believe most anything anyone tells him because he doesn’t expect people to say anything but the truth. So I had to acquaint him with the nuances of political opinion as opposed to fact before he could take a stand one way or the other on gun control–his chosen topic.

By the time he wrote the paper, he seemed to have gotten the hang of it, though. He had argued back and forth with two different online classmates on the message board (and pretty much handed them their hat, in my unbiased opinion) and that helped him solidify his position.

IMG_1340(He always writes his papers on my computer)

Actually, the hardest part about writing his first paper was having to cite sources for EVERYTHING! The paper was supposed to be 2-3 pages long double-spaced. His was 4 and a half, so he emailed the professor and asked if that would be okay. The teacher responded affirmatively, as long as provided a source for every piece of information he brought up that he didn’t know before working on the paper. Jason ended up with 2 pages of sources!

This week’s paper wasn’t quite as demanding. It was supposed to be a problem/solution essay, so Jason wrote about the growing unemployment problem among those with autism and proposed a solution at the end. Only 3 pages long plus 1 page of sources.

He’s learning a lot, but sometimes I wonder if he and I wouldn’t have been happier living in the days before school was invented . . . say, back in the Cretaceous Period with that Dromaeosaurid up there in the first picture.

Originally posted 2013-03-01 06:00:45.

One Thing at a Time

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Back before Christmas, Jason was thinking about meeting with our new Stake President (who oversees some ten congregations) some time in January to set in motion his full-time, local service mission. As the holidays came and went, he seemed to get more and more nervous.

Finally, we sat down with him and explained that this was going to be his choice. We weren’t forcing him to do anything. Don’t misunderstand. Jason wants to serve a mission. He was simply nervous about the idea of doing it at the same time as he was focusing on completing the Pathway Program. As with many on the autism spectrum, the idea of multi-tasking is a bit daunting. One thing at a time works best.

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I have to admit now that his reservation may have been inspired, given the challenge of his current online Language Arts class (more about that next time). In any case, he did finally meet with President Powell and, together, they agreed that it would be best for him to complete Pathway first then begin his mission in August.

It looks like he’ll be meeting with President Powell again in May to work out more specifics, but he’ll likely begin at the Family History Library, where the need is apparently greatest. Personally, I think that will be great experience given his academic interest in library science. By serving there, he’ll get a firmer idea of whether he really enjoys library work or not. Of course, an LDS Family History Library isn’t quite like a regular library, but he’ll learn about cataloguing documents and he’ll be working with computers.

Our next goal: Getting him to take Driver’s Ed and get a license by August!

Originally posted 2013-02-15 12:21:22.

Jason’s Thoughts on His First Pathway Class

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This Life Skills course even helped to prep my son for his first final exam…which happens to be on this same course. He had to complete a Study Guide in two parts. The first part was a sample test, posing multiple choice questions on everything they covered. The second part consisted of three essay questions.

As I read over his responses, I thought they provided a good gauge of where his thinking now lies in terms of entering into adulthood. With his permission, I’m sharing them here:

1. What are your motivations for attending college and what do you hope to achieve by continuing your education?

My motivations for attending college are a desire to complete my education, a goal to get a decent job so I can support my future family, and I also want to learn how to use my talents in order to better serve my community. By continuing my education, I hope to achieve independence and a better sense of who I am.

2. In a well-written paragraph, explain what it means to lead with a small “L.”

I think leading with a small “L” means that you don’t strive to be in charge of everyone. Rather, you try to serve those who need your influence. Although my Chamber Choir friends voted me as “Most Influential Choir Member,” I was touched that they noticed my desire to make choir class a fun experience for everyone. Many Church leaders engage in service projects because they want to help someone in need, and that’s kind of like leading with a small “L” because they don’t want to be admired. They want to serve.

3. What three things from this course had the most meaning to you and how have those items impacted your life?

The three lessons that meant the most to me during this semester were those involving BYU-Idaho’s mission to develop disciple-leaders, career exploration and academic planning, and the setting and achievement of goals. 

I came to understand for the first time that college is about more than job preparation. At BYU-Idaho, students gradually become both better disciples of Jesus Christ and leaders in their fields, as well as in His kingdom. As we learn, always with our eyes turned to the scriptures, and put into practice the gospel principles studied, we cannot help but grow closer to the Holy Ghost and thus be influenced by it. In this way, we will become stronger followers of Jesus Christ. We will also benefit from the Spirit’s tutoring in our academic classes, and thus be better students. This will prepare us to lead once we leave the university. We will lead in our chosen professions, and we will lead as we are called to service in the Church. 

Before I took this class, I really had no idea what career I should pursue. And so the lesson on career exploration was extremely helpful in guiding me toward Library Science. I knew I loved books, but I wasn’t sure what jobs were available around books until I took the different assessment tests. Now I know I want to be either a librarian or an assistant librarian, and I know what courses I need to take to prepare for that field. 

Finally, the challenge to set a particular goal became meaningful in my life because it caused me to begin something I had never tried before. I had been, up until now, fairly sedentary. Not liking sports (except for swimming), I spent a good deal of time sitting in front of my computer or the TV, or reading. I decided it was time to get physical and I began an exercise regimen that continues today. This has caused me to feel stronger than before and a lot more fit. I think this will have a lasting impact on my health, and thus my life.

Let me just add that I think so, too!

Originally posted 2012-12-07 13:59:35.

Jason Gets Physical!

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As I mentioned in the last few paragraphs of a much earlier posting when I reviewed my initial reactions to Jason’s Asperger’s diagnosis, one of the harder things to come to terms with for me was that I probably wouldn’t be able to enjoy my son’s participation in team sports. I know there are those with AS who do get into such activities, but it’s not usual. And having grown up as a “tomboy” myself, I had looked forward to playing “catch” or “one-on-one” with Jason as he got older.

Still, I held out hope that perhaps I could interest him in a more solitary game like tennis. No dice. Sports–any and all sports–turned out not to be his thing. We considered it a real accomplishment just to get him swimming. And we kept our fingers crossed when he “had” to take weightlifting and racket sports in high school to meet his P.E. requirements. He made it through both classes, but as soon as he graduated, it was back to his sedentary lifestyle.

That is why I considered his Pathway assignment two weeks ago on setting goals–and his selection of the physical goal of exercising to build muscle and gain some weight–such a gift.

I’ll be honest. I purchased the TRX Suspension Training DVD and equipment this past summer for myself and my husband. I knew we needed to get into better shape (me particularly), and I was good to begin with–as long as my daughter was around to work out with me and motivate me. But once she left on her 18-month church mission, I was on my own. And the suspension straps hung limply for 3-4 months.

Then Jason chose his goal and suddenly they were in business again! He may not care for sports, but I think he’s liking the feeling of getting stronger.

This exercise system was developed by a former Navy SEAL and it builds strength, flexibility, and endurance while burning calories and strengthening your core. As you follow the accompanying video, you can choose the easier routine or the harder, or do a mixture of both.

The Sprinter Start with the Knee Up

The Hamstring Curl with Hips Up

The Mid Row (Single Arm)

The Chest Press (Leg Extended to the Side)

The Deltoid Fly (Offset Stance)

The Kneeling Roll Out

The Plank on Hands (held for 30 seconds)

The Side Plank on Forearm (also held for 30 seconds)

(Note: I do not even attempt this one…yet.)

After all the exercises (only some of which are shown here), the video concludes with some cool-down flexibility routines.

The Lower Back Stretch

The Long Torso Twist

The Chest and Torso Stretch

And we’re done for the day.

Jason does this now three times a week. I’d started with him then got sidetracked when I had to travel to Utah for a book signing. That was actually a good thing because Jason’s dad had to cover for me and now he’s interested in doing it for himself. So now that Thanksgiving’s over, I think we’re both going to get going on this next week.

Not only has Jason begun to put on some weight (1.5 lbs. in two weeks), but he’s getting out of that chair in front of his computer…AND he’s got both Mom and Dad committed to following suit.

After all, we can’t let him show us up!

What do those you know who are autistic or have AS do for exercise? And what do they absolutely refuse to do? I’d love to hear from you.

Originally posted 2012-11-23 17:26:13.

Jason Gets Scheduled

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Each week, I grow more and more suspicious that this Pathway Program was designed with someone like my son in mind.

First, they had a lesson that basically talked him into attending college for real. Then they had a lesson that made him focus on his future and what he might want to be. Next came a lesson about general and particular goals in certain areas of life–intellectual, physical, spiritual, etc.–in the immediate future (he chose the physical…but I’ll post more about that next time).

And this week, he had to make a daily schedule.

What an eye-opener (to him, anyway). His father and I were already well aware of how he spent most days.

First, he had to track how he spent his time over 24 hours. Just the idea of it made him uncomfortable, and it’s obvious why when you examine the results:

(Just click on the image for a closer look)

In case you’re having a hard time reading the fine print, the result showed that he essentially spent a third to half his day on the computer. He calls it “researching” but he’s basically surfing the web and reading about all his favorite topics on Wikipedia or checking Facebook, Mugglenet, and the like.

Then they had the gall to ask him what he learned about himself from this exercise. As he put it to me (but not on the question sheet…there he was a bit more diplomatic), “I learned I’m a lazy slob!”

He’s exaggerating, of course, but the lesson did get through that it was time to reorganize his priorities. And that’s just what he was required to do next. Make a list of his priorities and things he needed and wanted to do. Then he had to make up a new kind of schedule.

Here’s what he came up with (after a bit of nudging from me):

(Again, click for a closer peek)

What an improvement in his use of time! I think it helped that the week before we’d already gotten him (and me) going on an exercise routine, but the addition of the commitment to spend actual daily hours in the local library, not to mention time reading rather than glued to a computer monitor, really made a difference.

As I reminded him, he can’t hope to be able to hold down a full-time job schedule until he’s able to maintain a personal schedule of his own. So on Monday we begin the new schedule. I’m so proud of the strides he’s making!

And my suspicions that the designer of the Pathway Program must have an ASD child of his own only continue to grow.

Originally posted 2012-11-09 13:09:07.